Published: August 2008
I am angry…
You made me believe you were the cure for my every kind of pain.
I had you wrapped around me while I let you take control of my veins.
At this point in time I didn’t know who or what you turned me into,
But you made it impossible to get through days without you.
You had control of my body now, and if I didn’t choose you,
you made me feel so sick to where I was helpless, not knowing what to do.
By now I started doing the things I swore I would never do,
lying and stealing off the people who didn’t mean a thing to you.
You had me convinced that throughout my life you were determined to stay,
that I did not have that option of turning and walking away.
Before you know it, everyone I loved saw this side of me that was hurting them inside.
Every time they questioned, I did what you taught me to do…lie.
I wanted to let you go and get you out of my way,
so scared to tell someone, imagining what they would say.
Don’t want to be judged, it was a decision I would have to make,
but I’ve wasted so much time; it was a little too late.
Being put in jail was something I knew it was going to come down to,
but it made me free of relief knowing that I could not get to you.
It was a struggle, but a worthwhile fight
because now I am in control and you are out of my life.
Being sober turned me into the person I’ve always wanted to be,
and that was the one day you were praying I would never see.
Now I am doing the good things I never imagined myself to do,
and proudly I can say I am doing them without you.